Gravity Falls - Shorts!
by dogbertcarroll
Summary: A series of random one shots set in the world of the Falls.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own no cartoon series Disney has any interest in, all hail the Mouse!**

**Control!**

Dipper had looked up magical amulets in his journal, it turned out to be a lot easier than he thought to make one, just requiring a certain stone that could only be found deep in the forest. It took most of the day for him to find the area the stones were in and then he simply waited till nightfall for the softly glowing stones to make their presence known. He'd set up his tent and waited, there were warnings about mental derangement and facing your darkest fears, but after the Gremloblin he really wasn't concerned. Heck there was even a cleansing ritual that would prevent the stones from corrupting the user and get rid of that glowing aura that let people know you were using it.

Dipper was confident; he had a plan!

**Noon the next day**

Dipper shivered, his hair was completely white and he had developed a squirrel phobia but it was worth it, he had his stones!

His campsite packed itself behind him, packing up everything into his backpack which floated along behind him like a balloon as he headed back to the shack. His trip out of the woods was a lot easier as he flew across streams and floated over deadfalls. It was only three by the time he reached the shack.

"Dude, what's up with the hair?" Wendy asked.

"Stared into the abyss, unspeakable horror, you know the drill," Dipper replied easily.

"You saw Stan naked?" Wendy asked.

Dipper shuddered in horror. "NO, Thank god!"

"Dude, ready for movie night?" Soos interrupted.

"Oh yeah," Dipper agreed with a grin.

"Are you sure, Dude?" Soos asked. "Mabel just got the sequel to Dream Boy High."

"I got it covered," Dipper replied.

"That grin's looking a little evil," Soos noted.

"It's supposed to," Dipper said. "I have an evil plan!"

"Good luck," Soos said, knowing Dipper had lost the race to the remote the last five times thanks to Mabel's expert use of a grappling hook.

**That night**

"Ready? Go!" Mabel shouted turning and firing her grappling hook so she could swing down the stairs only to stare in shock as Dipper leapt off as well and landed unharmed right next to her. Despite her surprise she managed to catch up with him as he was slowed by a laundry basket in the hall that he'd tripped over. Mabel's sliding dive allowed her to pass under the coffee table and grab the remote off the TV before Dipper fell on top of her, having leapt over it.

"I won!" she called out.

He sighed and they both moved to sit on the couch as the rule was they couldn't move off the couch until the movie was over and the twin who hadn't won the remote couldn't touch it.

"Alpha twin!" Mabel cheered and pushed play, starting an anime about beautiful teen boys and romance in colors that violated the viewers' eyeballs.

The VCR stopped and spit out the tape which floated onto the coffee table and was replaced with Masterpiece Theater, much to Mabel's shock. Dipper grinned and she quickly patted him down not finding the stone (hidden in his bellybutton) but finding Dipper's 47 step plan. Taking his pencil she wrote two additions and handed it back to him.

He read 'step 48 let sister watch her show because she loves you' and 'step 49 cuddle on the couch and eat popcorn.'

"You don't fight fair," he grumbled willing the tapes to switch as Mabel went to grab the popcorn. "Bring me some sunglasses!" he yelled.

**Typing by: Bankrupt Samurai**


	2. Chapter 2

**The Antfarm**

"Gideon has gone missing and so has Pacifica!" Mabel said worriedly.

"And this is bad?" Dipper asked.

"I-I think I might have done it," Mabel admitted. "I mean I was wishing they'd just dry up and die and now they're gone!"

"Relax," Dipper ordered hugging his freaked out sib. "I'm pretty sure you aren't the only one who wished that. Heck, you probably aren't even in the top ten."

"I-I guess you're right," she admitted. "But how can I know for sure?"

"Do you already know something or are you just trying to get me to admit to something?" Dipper asked.

"What?" Mabel asked confused. "I can see you doing something to Gideon, but you don't hate Pacifica, I do!"

"Of course I hate her," Dipper replied. "You were almost in tears because of her."

"You didn't toss them in the bottomless pit, did you?" she asked and then shook her head and answered her own question, "Of course not, you aren't a psycho killer."

"Remember when we were shrunk down by Gideon?"

"Yeah," Mabel replied slowly before suddenly turning and staring at his antfarm. "That's horrible!"

"It is?" Dipper asked worried he might have gone a little too far in defense of his twin.

"We change in here, they've seen us naked!" she exclaimed.

"No, I always put a cover over them," he reminded her.

"Oh," she said relieved. "That's ok, I was worried for a minute."

"So… not mad?" he asked.

Mabel laughed. "It's not like you killed them or anything."

"We can make them bigger and use them in hamster ball races too," he said cheerfully.

"We can make hamster balls bigger!" Mabel said excitedly. "We can have human sized hamster balls!"

"I can't believe I didn't think of that," Dipper said with a groan.

"That's why I'm the alpha twin!" Mabel exclaimed. "To the pet store!"

Gideon and Pacifica watched the twins leave.

"At least we have plenty of room and all we can eat," a man who'd tried to rob the Mystery Shack while Dipper was on the register offered.

"And it's a lot better than our old cage," one of the band members from Sev'ral Times offered. "Life size gummy chairs! It doesn't get much better than that!"

"Right on!" the other band members cheered.

The other dozen people scattered around the antfarm didn't comment either sleeping or talking away themselves.

**A/N: What do you think giving a 12 year old access to a shrink ray would result in?**

**Typing by: Bankrupt Samurai**


	3. Chapter 3

**A Minor Apocalypse**

A horde of zombies descended upon the twins. There were dozens of hungry shambling corpses reaching for them. Dipper turned his flashlight on and shrunk them down to the size of action figures, which Mabel poured gasoline on and set on fire.

"OK, that's the last of the zombies," Mabel said. "Now what?"

"I think now we're supposed to huddle together at the Mystery Shack, hiding from the deadly world around us and slowly fall in love," Dipper said pulling out a script and reading it.

"Didn't we lose all power when someone ran into the substation with their truck?" Mabel asked.

"Yeah," Dipper agreed.

"So no hot baths or stove," Mabel pointed out. "I have a better idea, but I need some paint and a ladder."

"I'm listening."

**2 hours later**

Mabel had just dipped her brush in paint when Blendin Blandin appeared in a flash of light.

"Stop right there time polluters!"

Dipper stepped out of the shadows and cracked him over the head with a two by four.

***THUNK***

"Grab his time travel device," Mabel ordered, dropping her brush. "No need for a mural depicting the future we saw now."

One pull of the tape and the two vanished in a burst of light.

**The Mystery Shack**

Stan and Soos stared in shock as an extra pair of Pine twins entered the shack interrupting dinner.

"We have time to explain," Dipper said calmly.

"I thought it was supposed to be, we have no time to explain," Soos said.

"We have a time travel device, we have plenty of time," Mabel said.

"Why'd we come back?" Dipper asked the time traveling duo.

Dipper handed a copy of the script to him, Mabel read over his shoulder.

"At least I get the girl," Dipper said, causing Mabel to giggle.

"So you came back to make sure you didn't get the girl?" Gruncle Stan asked.

"We decided to save the whole town," Mabel explained.

"That's altruistic of you," Gruncle Stan said suspiciously.

"If everyone gets eaten by zombies we lose power and can't take hot showers," Dipper explained.

"If there is to be any getting of this girl, hot showers will be required," Mabel said firmly.

"Whoa!" Dipper said as he and Mabel read a love scene further in.

"You two?" Stan asked making a face.

"Would you rather end up as zombie number three that I bash in the head with a rock?" Dipper asked.

"I always knew you two were destined for each other," Stan said with a bright smile. "I'm so proud of you!" Stan adapted to the changing situation faster than a chameleon.

"Soos?" Mabel asked.

"Yeah, Hambone?" he asked, eating dinner as if nothing was going on.

"Aren't you going to comment?"

"I thought you were already a couple," he replied. "Otherwise why would you always find a way to get in-between Dipper and Wendy and why would Dipper always find a reason to get rid of your boyfriends?"

"Huh," the four chorused.

"Aren't two of you supposed to vanish now?" Stan asked. "Like in Back to the Future?"

"This is real life, it doesn't work that way," Dipper said.

"You guys take the south bridge, we'll take the north," the Dipper reading the script with Mabel said. "First one finished gets to put the problem people in the antfarm."

"Antfarm?" Stan asked.

"Killing isn't us," Mabel explained. "But zombie sympathizers like Robbie and people who put everyone in danger trying to gain power like Gideon have to go, so we shrink them and put them where they'll have plenty of food and water, but no way to harm anyone."

"Pacifica?" Soos asked glancing at the list.

"Trust me," Mabel said, "getting rid of her makes it almost worth the zombies."

"Some people are worse than zombies and we can't afford the dissension," Dipper agreed.

Stan wiped a tear from his eye. "Using the apocalypse for petty revenge, I'm so proud of you!"

The Mabels blushed.

"Won't we eventually have to venture into the outside world?" Soos asked.

"Not for a couple of months," Dipper replied, "and zombies will eventually run out of easy prey and get picked apart by insects before they can make more. So we should be fine till then."

"How long have you had to plan all this?" Stan asked.

"I was using a baseball bat to crack open the skull of a zombie who'd gotten a hold of Mabel's hair when I thought about how much easier this would be if I were bigger," Dipper explained.

"I talked him out of becoming a giant," Mabel said.

"So I shrunk them and Mabel burned them," Dipper said. "Took maybe three hours and then another two for gathering supplies to capture Blendin and get his time machine."

"Your room is going to be crowded," Soos said getting seconds.

"I can enlarge the beds," Dipper said, holding up his flashlight with the crystal on the front.

"You're soundproofing your room," Stan said firmly.

"Will do Gruncle Stan," the Dippers promised as the four left to fulfill their plan.

"Should I be impressed or horrified?" Soos asked.

"Be both," Stan said. "God knows I am."

**A/N: OK, poking a little fun at another fic, but really zombie apocalypses aren't that hard to deal with.**

**A/N2: No I won't tell you which fic, search for it yourself!**

**Typing by: Bankrupt Samurai**


	4. Chapter 4

**Utility**

Dipper stared at the stars and wondered what it was about Gravity Falls that caused all the weirdness he'd experienced. He'd spent years reading mystery novels and searching for conspiracies to uncover and found nada, zilch, zero, the big goose egg.

OK, he'd found out why Mrs. Trotski and Mr. Torbald didn't mind their spouses going on vacation together and the girl down the street who babysat for the Peterson's liked to sunbathe, but nothing interesting. He'd began to wonder if what was all just lies and stories made up for fun, the way everyone had said. Maybe life was just a long boring journey to death where the most interesting thing to happen was bumping into someone you went to high school with in the supermarket.

But Gravity Falls had changed all that.

"Dipper, you awake?" Mabel asked startling him out of his thoughts.

"Just watching the stars, Mabel," he replied.

The floor in between their beds creaked and he was unceremoniously pushed to the side as Mabel climbed into bed with him and fluffed her pillow.

"Why Lady Mabelton how forward of you," Dipper said.

"Your bed has a better view than mine, plus it's kinda chilly in here, so you Lord Dippingsauce are my designated bed warmer," she replied, tossing her blanket on top of them and cuddling into his side.

Dipper smiled and stared at the huge hole the wrecking ball had torn in the attic. "I'm going to have to fix this, aren't I?"

"Probably," Mabel agreed, "but you should make it like one of those garage doors so we can open it and watch the stars."

"I did want an excuse to play King Kong," Dipper admitted.

"Do you still lay awake at night thinking about Wendy?" Mabel asked.

"Not really," Dipper replied after a moment's thought. "These days if I'm laying awake it's because I'm planning on how to expose your latest boyfriend as a non-human and how to defeat him," he joked.

Mabel giggled. "Night, Dipper."

"Night Mabel," he said as they slowly drifted off to sleep.

*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*

Mabel awoke to the sound of sawing and saw her brother Dipper working on the roof. She blinked a few times and rubbed her eyes. "Dipper?" she asked.

"Yes, Mabes?" he replied in a surprisingly deep voice.

"Are you ten feet tall?"

"Just to repair the roof," he assured her.

"I can see right up your shorts," she told him.

He rolled his eyes but couldn't help but laugh. "Gruncle Stan said we could alter the attic however we wanted, as long as I fixed the sign first. It's a lot easier to do when you're a giant."

"Not to mention being able to adjust the size of the boards so everything fits together perfectly," Mabel said, seeing several ways the size adjustment crystal could be used to make things easier.

"Err yeah," Dipper said slowly, embarrassed he hadn't thought of that himself. "Why you could even…" his voice trailed off.

"Use it on that scale model sundeck I made out of popsicle sticks to try and convince Gruncle Stan to build onto the Mystery Shack?" Mabel asked. "That is such a good idea!"

"Yeah, glad I thought of it," Dipper said, biting his lip to keep from laughing.

"I'll go make breakfast," Mabel said, "what would you like?"

"One egg sunnyside up, one strip of bacon, one pancake, a cup of orange juice and a saucer of warm water," Dipper said.

Mabel laughed as she realized why he'd ordered such a small breakfast. "We'll eat like kings! Back in ten minutes!"

Once Mabel had left, Dipper smacked himself in the head. "I can't believe I didn't think of that first."

Dipper was stunned at how quickly he got everything finished. What would have taken hours was done in seconds leaving him plenty of time to install the roll up garage door and even the sundeck Mabel had suggested. The hamster sized hot tub Mabel had made was just a mock up and the enlarged Barbie furniture was uncomfortable , but it did look good. Dipper shrank himself back down to normal size and spent the next five minutes enlarging the boards that made up the attic to remove all the cracks and gaps caused by age and moisture.

"Now for the final test," he muttered, holding up a remote and hitting a button causing the roll up garage door to open onto their sundeck, flooding the attic with sunlight and warmth.

"Cool!" Mabel said as she brought in breakfast. "It looks awesome!"

**After Breakfast**

"Whoa!" Wendy said. "You guys smell like you rolled in maple syrup."

"Close enough," Mabel agreed. "Hey, Soos!"

"Morning, Hambone. What's up?" the kindly maintenance man replied.

"What do you know about hot tub construction?" she asked.

"You guys rolled in maple syrup?" Wendy asked.

"Breakfast battles are sticky situations," Dipper said cheerfully.

"It has to take forever to get out of your hair," Wendy said.

"That or tons of hot water," Dipper agreed.

"All we got left is to fix the sign and roof," Stan said as he entered the room. "Once that's done we can call it a day."

"That was a quick day," Dipper said.

"What?" Stan asked eyeing Dipper strangely for a minute before walking outside and then coming back in. "Nice work, kid!"

"So, we're done?" Wendy asked.

"Sweep, dust, then clear out," Stan agreed. "We'll be open for business on Monday!"

"I'm out!" Wendy said, vanishing just after Stan did.

"We'll be working on the hot tub," Mabel called out taking Soos with her.

"Just me then," Dipper said with a sigh. As soon as it was obvious he was alone he dropped the act and pulled out the journal. It wasn't the original journal, Stan still had that, but one he had made testing the copier to see what it could clone.

He opened the book and paged through to find the section on amulets. Gideon had made one so they couldn't be that hard.

**Typing by: Bankrupt Samurai**

**AN: Prequal to the first chapter.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Stan Squared**

Dipper froze as he heard a loud creak. He'd been sneaking out to investigate the puke fairy, which was easier to find at two a.m. on a Saturday morning, he knew Grunkle Stan wouldn't care, but he didn't want to bring Mabel along because she was sick, and he knew she'd insist on coming if she knew he was going out.

"This is Stan and I was wrong," a dark suited figure hummed as he worked on adding fins to a stuffed aardvark.

"Grunkle Stan?" Dipper said in surprise, as Grunkle Stan was a deep sleeper and hard to wake before seven, plus he wouldn't normally wear his Mr. Mystery clothes unless he had tourists to fleece.

"Dipper!" Stan said spinning around and looking panicky.

"Wait a minute," Dipper said as he noticed how sparkly 'Grunkle Stan' looked. "Wax-Grunkle Stan?"

"You caught me, kid," the wax replica replied with a sigh. "I was just working on a new attraction."

A loud snore came through the wall, letting dipper know Grunkle Stan was fine, and making him give thanks once more than he and Mabel had the room farthest from his.

"You aren't planning on trying to kill and replace Stan are you?" Dipper asked the wax replica of Grunkle Stan suspiciously.

"What? No!" the wax figure replied. "With him fleecing the suckers during the day and me touching up the attractions during the night we're raking it in!"

"That does sound like you," Dipper admitted.

"Two Stans are better than one, kid," the wax man said knowingly.

"Okay, you have fun with that," Dipper said, "I have to go investigate something."

"Have fun, Dipper," Wax-Stan said turning back to what he was working on. He sighed heavily once Dipper was gone. "Two Stans are better than one, kid," he repeated sadly, recalling past events.

* * *

"Chug, chug, chug!" Dipper chanted, eying the fairy circle from his hiding spot in the bushes. Looking down at the book in his lap he found the next verse of the summoning spell, "Dude, I bet I can finish that whole pitcher in one breath!"

With a loud pop and a flash of blue light a small, fat winged man, wearing a toga appeared—flew in circles and crashed into the ground, lifting his tiny head to mumble, "Dude, who moved the ground?"

"Gotcha!" Dipper yelled leaping out from behind the bushes.

"Arrgh!" The tiny figure clutched his chest and keeled over.

"Ahhh!" Dipper yelled and immediately ran over and checked on the figure. Thankfully his life guard training had included CPR because for the second time this summer he was being forced to use his training to care for a mythological creature.

Once he'd gotten the small man's heart restarted and gotten him breathing on his own, Dipper returned and caught his breath.

"Dude! you saved my life!" the little man said, staring at Dipper.

"Well, it was kinda my fault you almost died," Dipper admitted, wondering if he should erase the memory of his camcorder, as this didn't exactly make him look good.

"It happens," the small fae said unconcerned. "The blessing of the puke faeries is upon you for your kindness and for being a great kisser, bye!" The little man vanished in a burst of light.

Dipper picked up his camcorder and erased the memory. "Yep, no one is seeing this one."

* * *

Mabel groaned as she woke up, she felt horrible! Her stomach was in open rebellion and she was about to try and crawl out of bed when Dipper put his hand on her forehead and the feeling of nausea drained out of her. "Love you, bro," she said, half awake and drifting off once more.

"Love you too, sis," he replied tucking her in with his left hand while holding his right hand away from her. "Now what the hell am I going to do with this?" he asked, staring at the sickly green glow coating his right hand as he walked downstairs.

"I told you before, Robbie don't bother me at work," Wendy said.

"Dipper, you wanna take care of this jerk?" Stan asked, knowing Dipper didn't like Robbie and would get a kick out of running him off.

Dipper glanced at his right hand and smiled. "I got it Grunkle Stan. Hey Robbie, are you ok, man? You look sick."

**Wax Works**

Dipper waited till everyone was asleep before going to see Wax-Stan. He wasn't checking up on him so much as visiting him so he wouldn't get lonely. When he looked into Stan's workroom he was surprised to see himself already there. "Mabel?" he guessed.

"Mabel," Wax-Dipper agreed. "She still has a lot of wax left from us err you two melting down the cursed figures."

"I wonder who she's going to make next," Dipper said.

"I think she was planning on making Soos," Wax-Dipper said. "Hey, see if you can get her to make a Wendy that's our size."

"I'll try," Dipper promised. "If you guys need anything let me know, ok?"

"Will do, kid, and thanks," Wax-Grunkle Stan said knowing why Dipper visited even if he never said it aloud.

**A week later**

"Hey guys," Dipper called out. "Mabel said she was running low on wax after making Soos, so she actually listened when I talked about making a smaller Wendy. She finished up earlier and put her in Soos' break room." Dipper held up the Presidential key. "Want a sneak peak before the official unveiling tomorrow?"

"You know it!" Wax-Dipper said excitedly.

The two rushed off while Wax-Soos and Wax-Stan worked on making souvenirs for the tourists.

"Ready?" Dipper asked, finding it funny to see his duplicate self dancing from one foot to another in excitement.

"Yes!"

Dipper whipped the sheet off the figure and they both stared as she stretched and yawned, slowly coming awake.

"I think I just blew a lobe," the two Dippers chorused.

"Whoa!" the short redhead said, rubbing her temples, "Major head rush."

"So… what's your name?" Wax-Dipper asked.

"Bell Pines," she replied. "I didn't… I mean, Mabel didn't have enough wax to make two more figures so she combined herself and Wendy."

"I have a lot of conflicting emotions right now," Wax-Dipper said.

"You aren't the only one," Bell said. "I'm still trying to get my head on straight. I got two sets of memories here and man, you are a lot more awesome than you let on," she told Dipper.

"Is Mabel pranking me or you with Bell?" Wax-Dipper asked.

Bell laughed in that uniquely Mabel way.

"She doesn't know about us, so it has to be you," Wax-Dipper replied. "Of course now that Bell knows of us it'll be both."

**Typing by: Stephenopolos**


	6. Chapter 6

**Not as advertised**

"Mabel?" Dipper said slowly.

"Yeah, Bro-Bro," she replied, looking up from her knitting.

"The journal has a section on mermaids," he said.

"What about mermen?" Mabel asked.

"There aren't any," Dipper said.

"What?" Mabel stopped knitting and came over to read the journal entry. "Female only species, lonely sailors and beach goers, deep voices for speaking underwater…"

"We really should have questioned why a merman would have 'merman' in his name," Dipper said.

"Why would he, I mean she, lie to me?" Mabel asked, upset.

"Hmm," Dipper said as he considered it, clicking his pen as was his habit.

Mabel waited, knowing dipper was usually pretty good about figuring these things out. "Well?" she asked, after a couple of minutes went by and he hadn't said anything, her patience exhausted.

"I think I know," Dipper admitted. "Go get a pair of shorts and strip down until that's all you have on."

"What? No," Mabel said with a frown.

"Why not?" Dipper asked reasonably.

"Because I'm not going to wander around topless even if it's just us here, someone could come in."

"What if we disguise you as a boy?" Dipper asked. "We could call you Marvin."

"That'd still be really embarrassing," Mabel said before admitting, "but I'm intrigued."

"Imagine if you were trapped in a public place with no shirt and had the voice to pull it off," Dipper said, seeing that trying to lead Mabel towards figuring it out herself was backfiring.

"Ok, I can see why she pretended to be a boy," Mabel admitted, "but why didn't she tell me later?"

"You had just rescued her and seemed really caught up in it all," Dipper said. "She didn't want to disappoint you and she probably really liked you."

"Really liked me?" Mabel squeaked.

"There are no mermen and they spend most of their time in the depths of the ocean," Dipper hinted.

"Oh!" Mabel said, blushing.

"You were her knight in shining armor," Dipper said with a proud smile.

"And yet you got more lip action with her than I did," Mable said. "You made out with my girlfriend!" Mabel laughed.

Dipper grinned.

"Now lock the door and pass me some shorts, I'm going to send 'Mermando' some pictures of her boyfriend Marvin!"

"What?"

"Should I wear a fake mustache?"

"No!"

"Ohhh, we could dress you as bare chested werewolf and I'll be a young Count Dracula, that way she gets pictures of both her boyfriends!"

"Mabel!" Dipper groaned, suddenly suspicious of where Grunkle Stan had gotten the idea for the pre-teen wolfboy costume he made him wear.

**Typing by: Stephenopolos**


	7. Chapter 7

**Tag team**

"Body slam!"

Dipper's eyes shot open and the strangely garbed girl froze in mid air, wearing a hard knitted body stocking and lucha libre mask in shades of pink and red.

"Dipper," Mabel said as she floated above his bed. "I checked you thoroughly while you were asleep and didn't find an amulet. Did you swallow it? Or… eww!"

"Not thoroughly enough," he replied, happy the stone in his belly button remained unfound. "Now what are you doing?"

"Wrestling match," Mabel replied. "I posted the schedule a week ago, not my fault you didn't read it."

"Where is it posted?" he asked.

"Underside of the kitchen table," she said cheerfully.

Dipper let her fall on him, deciding that a body slam was less painful than dealing with Mabel's logic.

**Half an hour later**

"I still say the noogie isn't a proper wrestling move," Dipper said sprawled out on the floor.

"If you can use wedgies as a move, I can use noogies," Mabel said taking off her mask and tossing it on her bed.

Waddles, dressed in a little referee outfit started chewing on it.

"You know wrestling outfits are supposed to be made of spandex, right?" Dipper asked.

"Tried it, they should call the material perma-wedgie," Mabel said.

"Better than the Greeks, they'd coat themselves with olive oil and wrestle naked," Dipper said.

"Just wearing oil would be better than wearing perma-wedgie," Mabel said, "it's like wearing jello that is trying to have sex with you."

"Knitted suits it is," Dipper agreed. "Where's mine?"

"If you looked under the furniture once in a while you wouldn't have to ask that," Mabel said.

"Is it under my bed or yours?" he asked figuring she'd stick it somewhere close by.

"Yours," Mabel replied.

Dipper looked under his bed and returned with several packages. "Which one?" he asked.

"The blue one," Mabel said, "The other two are for this weekend."

Dipper nodded and opened the box. "It's spandex."

"I got us the outfits at the same time. I knitted the one I'm wearing last night."

Dipper shrugged and put it on turning around and asking. "What do you do think?"

"Ahh! take it off," Mabel cried, blushing and throwing an arm across her face.

"It's not that— " Dipper began before catching sight of himself in the mirror and stepping forward. "No means no!" he exclaimed suddenly, shedding the spandex in a hurry. "I think it just tried to rape me!"

"See?" Mabel demanded, before narrowing her eyes at Dipper's naked form, her eyes drifting downwards. "And why haven't you shared?"

"What?" Dipper asked confused.

"That!" Mabel said pointing at his lower body.

Dipper froze and then smacked himself in the head as he realized what she was looking at. "I made an extra one for you, I just didn't want to give it to you till I played a couple of pranks first." He opened the top drawer of his dresser and pulled out a necklace that he tossed to her. "What do we do with the spandex?"

"Mail it to someone we don't like?" Mabel offered putting on the necklace and levitating off the floor while making airplane noises.

"Gideon and Pacifica it is," he agreed.

"Overdone. Robbie, and Tambry," Mabel said.

"Tambry?" he asked.

"I have my reasons," she replied.

"Ok," Dipper said deciding not to argue. He thought Tambry was ok, but then this wasn't a really harmful prank or anything, so it really wasn't important.

"Are you going to knit me a wrestling outfit?" Dipper asked.

"You can wrestle like the Romans!" Mabel said from the ceiling.

"I can't just wear oil, it'll make a mess!"

"Fine, throw away the green box, I'll knit you one before the next match."

Dipper eyed the green box, but decided he didn't want to know.

"Body Slam!" Mabel cried out dropping through the air.

**Typing by: Stephenopolos**

**TN: someone heard my plea and sent me a gyro thanks….**


	8. Chapter 8

**Doubt**

Dipper sighed internally as he saw Mabel examining herself in the mirror again. He'd thought she'd gotten over all the things Pacifica had said, but it looked like she was doubting herself again.

"Stupid braces," she muttered, examining her teeth.

"Stop putting down my sister!" Dipper yelled at her, slamming the door to their room behind himself. "My sister Mabel is one of the prettiest girls I know!"

I'm silly, and have braces and-" Mabel began.

Dipper covered her mouth with his hand. "Silly is taking everything so seriously you can't have any fun. Silly is being such a miserable person you have to make those around you miserable as well." He removed his hand.

"And my braces?"

"Are temporary for one," he began.

"And two?" she asked.

"Huh?"

"You said for one, implying there is a for two," Mabel said.

"And two…" Dipper searched his mind for the right thing to say. "And two," he paused to grin evilly. "Remember that magazine you found under the backseat of Robbie's van?"

Mabel turned bright red. "ACKK!"

"What was that title again? Barely Legal Brace-" Dipper found Mabel had pretty fast hands herself.

"Braces are fine!" she blurted out and slowly removed her hands. "You'd stop Robbie if he started perving on me, right?"

"I like Wendy and you've seen what I've done to him over that," Dipper told her. "You're my twin and I may not say it often but I love you and you really have no idea how many ways I know of to dispose of a body around here."

Mabel laughed and gave him a hug that popped his back. "Thanks, Dipper, you always know just what to say."

**Meanwhile downstairs…**

"He likes me?" Wendy asked.

"You didn't know he liked you?" Stan asked, disbelief clear in his voice.

"I knew he liked me, but not that he liked, liked me," Wendy said. "Understand?"

"Nope," Stan replied cheerfully.

"He's a gnarly little dude, but he's so short he reminds me of my brothers," Wendy explained.

"Ouch," Soos said with a wince. "The kiss of death."

"Just set him up with one of your friends," Stan suggested. "That'll wipe out any crush he has on you."

"Do you think he was serious about disposing of Robbie," Wendy asked, before answering herself, "nah, I'm just being silly. Well, I gotta go and see if Tambry's seeing anyone."

After Wendy had left, Stan spoke up, "Five bucks says Dipper would feed him to the pterodactyl."

"Ten says he'd push him into the bottomless pit," Soos countered.

"You're on," Stan replied.

**Typing by: Bankrupt Samurai**


	9. Chapter 9

**A Change of Plans**

"What are you doing?" Mabel asked as she saw Dipper sitting at the table with a handful of cards labeled with skills he had or subjects he was knowledgeable about.

"I got into an argument with Grunkle Stan on how he chose the Shack as a career and he pointed out that I don't even have that much of a goal, because I don't know what I want to do with my life," Dipper replied.

"Eighteen isn't exactly a prime time to be making life goals," Mabel said. Dipper nodded, knowing in this Mabel was probably right. "Just pick the most nerdy and dull option available," she said with a laugh as she walked off. "That's what you always go for anyway."

Dipper frowned. Was that what she really thought of him? That he just took the... He looked at the list of knowledge and skills and sighed. He had a lot of technical skills that he'd chosen to give him the widest possible job choices in the future... He'd chosen the safest nerdiest way to go.

He looked down at the list he'd made of possible career paths and crumpled it up. The few really interesting careers he'd thought about didn't make money so much as cost it and he was neither independently wealthy nor had a rich backer. Ignoring that for the moment he filled out some more cards with the names of items he'd gotten 'adventuring' in Gravity Falls and skills he'd developed that didn't lend themselves to traditional career paths.

He'd always wanted to investigate things people dismissed as myths and legends, and there was a decent market for at least a cable show on the subject, but once again he'd need money a lot of money to get started and it wasn't like he could just walk into a bank and they would give him the money either, not unless he had a gun.

Dipper laughed. Robbing banks was probably the only way he'd ever achieve this dream. He sighed and his eyes drifted across several of the cards listed with items of an unusual nature...

Nah, it'd never work; just getting the money wasn't enough you also needed to know how to launder it and keep it from the IRS and who did he know with those kinds of skills?

"This is Stan and I was wrong," Stan hummed as he grabbed a can of Pitt cola. Mabel had made up the song when she was twelve to humiliate him, but the tune was catchy and the subject was Stan, his favorite subject, so naturally he found himself humming it quite frequently.

"Hey, Grunkle Stan?" Dipper asked.

"Yeah, Kid?"

"Do you think you could teach me how to run the Shack?" Dipper asked.

Stan perked up a bit. "I could use some help, but I ain't planning on retiring anytime soon, kid."

Dipper waved it off. "I just want to learn how to launder money and commit massive tax fraud."

Stan dropped his soda in shock, and then a smile made its way across his face and a tear came to his eye.

*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*

Mabel looked at her brother and frowned in thought.

"What?" he asked.

"Normally when the news does a special on an unsolved case you are all over it," she said looking from the TV and back to him. "But they've been running this bank robbery special for ten minutes and you haven't said word one."

"I have better things to do then try and show up the cops?" Dipper offered.

"That's not it," Mabel said with a frown.

"I've outgrown my silly obsession with solving mysteries," he tried again.

"It's not that either," Mabel said moving closer and closer until she finally just swung a leg over him and straddled him pressing her forehead against his and stared into his eyes. "Why haven't you put forth any theories on who it was and how they did it?" she demanded.

"I... erm," he muttered as he tried to figure out something to say.

"You bastard!" she growled smacking him in the chest, before getting up and storming off.

Dipper had no idea what had just happened, but he knew he had to find out or there would be no living with her. He sighed when he found the door to their room locked. This was serious, they never locked the door. "Mabel?" he called out while knocking on the door.

"Go away!" she yelled through the door.

"At least tell me what I did wrong!" he demanded, but got no answer. Pulling the Presidential Key out of his pocket he unlocked the door. "Seriously, I have no clue what you think I've done."

Mabel was in Sweater Town however and not listening.

"Mabel you can't get mad and hide from me without giving me a chance to defend myself!" He tried to reason with her, he tried arguing with her, and finally he tried begging her, all to no avail as she stubbornly stayed stuck in her overlarge sweater. "That's it, I'm coming in!" Dipper growled and pulled out the bottom of her sweater and started worming his way inside.

Mabel fought him but there wasn't a lot of room and now that they were both eighteen he was actually quite a bit stronger than her. Mabel stared at him in shock never having expected this.

Dipper looked around the surprisingly roomy sweater. There was plenty of light as Mabel had strung Christmas lights inside it and she had a set of Ear buds in and had been playing a violent video game while listening to something loud. Reaching up he pulled the ear buds out. "It is completely unfair to get mad at me, shut me out, and not give me a chance to defend myself. Hell, I don't even know what I am supposed to have done!"

Mabel's eyes were red and puffy. "You left me behind," she said quietly, over the sounds of her favorite boy band pouring out of the ear buds. "You promised you'd never go off mystery solving without me and you left me behind."

"I promised I would invite you, not that I wouldn't solve them on my own," Dipper said softly. "And the point is moot because I didn't solve this mystery and when I invited you, you said to leave you out of my nerdy career activities."

"You know the solution, but you didn't solve it," she said slowly.

"That's right," he assured her.

Her eyes filled with tears. "You got a new partner!"

"No!" he blurted out grabbing her shoulders. "I know who did it, because it was me!"

Mabel stared at him in open mouthed shock. "You robbed a bank?" Reaching over she pressed a shirt button and the stereo shut off. Unzipping a pocket on the wall she put the gaming system away and tucked away the ear buds.

"I like what you've done to the place," Dipper said still a bit amazed at what all was in there.

"I'd offer you snacks, but I'm fresh out. I keep meaning to restock the fridge, but you know how easily distracted I get," Mabel said with forced calm. "Now, I need you to focus for a minute, and yes I see the irony of me saying that. You robbed a bank?"

"I robbed a bank," Dipper agreed.

"Part of your boring nerdy career plans involved robbing a bank?" she asked.

"There were a lot of variables to account for," he told her. "I asked you twice just to be sure, but you didn't want to get involved with my nerd things."

"And you didn't have a partner?" she asked, staring into his eyes like she was trying to read his soul.

"It was all just me," he assured her.

"You robbed a bank.. without me," she sniffed, eyes tearing up once more.

"Oh for the love of," he muttered wrapping his arms around her. "I asked you, you said no."

"I carry a grappling hook, Dipper, a grappling hook!" she exclaimed. "What do all great bank heist movies have in common?"

"They have a grappling hook?" he guessed.

"Bingo! I could have helped you rob a bank! It would have been beautiful!" she cried.

Dipper sighed. He knew he was going to regret this but... "Mabel, would you like to rob a bank with me?"

"What?" she asked, tears vanishing instantly.

"Robbing that bank was just practice, so I could rob the bank I really wanted to rob," he lied. "Mabel Pines, would you rob a bank with me?"

Mabel squealed in excitement and hugged him tightly. "Yes! Yes! A thousand times yes!"

"Good," he said mentally figuring out how to rework his plan to include Mabel and work on a different bank.

"You know, you could try and be a little more romantic about these things," Mabel told him seriously.

"Wha?"

"I need to change and fix my makeup, you can show yourself out," Mabel said cheerfully giving him a push. "Now where did I put that lavender sweater?"

Dipper wormed his way out of Sweater Town, once more convinced he would never understand his sister.

**Typing by: Stephenopolos**

**AN: Career plans. When I was 14 mine included at least 1 bank robbery...**

**TN: astronaut...- space cargo smuggler - Captain Kirk.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Dipper's Name**

"What is your first name?" Wendy asked.

Dipper winced. He knew someone would ask eventually, but he'd hoped he could just blow them off. Unfortunately he couldn't just blow Wendy off. "It's embarrassing is what it is."

"Your parents named you Embarrassing?" Soos asked.

"What? No," Dipper said shaking his head. "You know how parents of twins give them connected names?"

"Like Sandy and Andy?" Wendy guessed.

"Gabel?" Soos offered.

"I don't think people use that as a first name," Dipper said. "Anyway-"

"Abel," Wendy interrupted. "Able and Mabel fits."

"Close but no cigar," Dipper said. "They don't rhyme, they're just connected. When they saw my forehead they recalled a passage from the bible…"

"The mark of Cain upon his brow," Soos said quietly.

"Cain and Mabel," Dipper said with a sigh.

"No way!" Wendy exclaimed.

"I always pictured Mabel as the evil twin," Soos said.

"Nope, he's the evil one," Mabel interjected with a grin.

"It's a cool name," Wendy told him.

"Adults always assume it's a nickname I earned by being a little monster," Dipper said shaking his head. "And I'd get called Candy or Sugar by the guys, so naturally I'd get in a lot of fights, which the adults would assume I started because I was 'raising Cain'."

"Tough break, dude," Wendy said.

"Seriously, I always thought you were the evil twin," Soos told Mabel.

"Nope, Dipper just pretends to be good, he's evil to the core!" Mabel assured him.

"Yes, I'm hardcore evil," Dipper deadpanned.

"I'm pretty sure Waddles is eviler than you," Wendy told him.

"Waddles is too cute to be evil!" Mabel exclaimed holding her pet pig up for inspection.

"Lamb costume," Wendy said flatly. "It was so cute I almost went diabetic and he did it to save me and the guys since he'd already gotten the ghosts to leave you two alone."

Dipper pulled his cap down to cover his face, his ears bright red.

"I'm not becoming the evil twin," Mabel said. "I've seen the Disney movies, it'd ruin my cuteness."

"Samson and Delilah would have been cooler names," Soos said.

"I think I'd have to be a southern belle to carry that off," Mabel said.

"Samson is a cool name," Dipper admitted.

"You can be Delilah, I'll be Samson, I have the hair for it," Mabel told him.

"Not happening," Dipper said.

"Romeo and Juliet," Mabel said. "I always wanted to play Juliet."

"Romeo as a name would get me in even more fights than Cain," Dipper said.

"Dude, that rhymed!" Soos said.

"I feel a dance number coming on!" Mabel exclaimed.

"Nope, no musicals here," Dipper said shaking his head. "We are not going to suddenly burst into song."

"Spoil sport," Mabel said pouting.

"I'm not saying you can't, I'm just saying I have never seen it happen," he disagreed.

"It would if you'd just go with it!" Mabel exclaimed.

"She wants spontaneous song and dance numbers and yet I'm the evil one," Dipper groaned.

In the back of journal three a section of blank page blackened, as words were burned into the page. "To Summon Sweet…"

**Typing by: Bankrupt Samurai**


End file.
